i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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