It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
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I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Drake has all the answers
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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