I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
