the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
a search helicopter?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
