how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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