Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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