it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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