I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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