i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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