Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
