dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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