I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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