He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
