U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I AM VODKA MAN
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
