if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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