well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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