ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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