I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
