found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
