doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
