how can u be prego again
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
