Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
