remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
