so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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