im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
