the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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