I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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