I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
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I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize