Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
