if i can run in heels then i can drive
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
