how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
