that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
