I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
