After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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