we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
