yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
