you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
