Your mouth is God's brothel.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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