I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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