How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
