its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
