I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I touched a dick in church today
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
