Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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