the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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