Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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