Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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