Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
