i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
