Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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