quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He passed out mid-signature
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize