just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize