there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I look excited, but its just a facade.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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