what day is it and did you see me today?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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