I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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