PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
