Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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