I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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