we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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