Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
