Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
