i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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