everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
