just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
