please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I need a burrito and a hug.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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