About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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