That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize