Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
