is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
